Kate, like others said before, the "rules'' of living are far less a problem than the fact that you cannot even have a private thought that is different to what ever the Governing Body tell you.
From a letter to elders, sept 1 1980: "keep in mind that to be disfellowshipped, an apostate does not have to be a promoter of apostate veiws.... If a baptized christian abandons the teachings of jehovah, as presented* by the faithful and discret slave**, and persists in believing other doctrine...then he is apostasizing"
* Subject to change without notice **now the Governing Body members (8)
Add to that, the Watchtower magazine of 1 august 2001: "A mature christian...He does not advocate or insist on personal opinions or harbor private ideas when it comes to Bible understanding"
Alarm bells should be ringing loud and clear girl. This IS NOT some alternate religion you can be with to worship God. This IS a high control group that will micro manage your every thought and action. They will mess up your life, it is too late for you to go any further with them. What you have seen on this site and others cannot be unseen and will stay with you as doubts that will pop up later and will have to be squashed or you will end up, in one year or ten, in a very bad way as they try to kick you out if you dont shut up, or lose a husband who wont stay with you...
RUN FROM THEM
oz